Testing...Testing

I added a new photo to my blog and want to see if it is working.  This is a test, only a test.

3rd Times a Charm

Well I went for my ECT consultation.  It was interesting and informative.  On a depression scale, I scored 40.  That is high considering it should be below 10.  With all the information they gathered from my psychiatrist and myself, they determined that I am a candidate for ECT.  I have to get a physical, bloodwork, EKG, and clearance from my doctor before anything can be done.  I got my physical, bloodwork, and EKG yesterday.  Hopefully everything will work out and I will get clearance to begin ECT. ECT helps 70% of severely depressed people and many don't need medicine after treatment.   The doctor said that it would take 6 - 12 treatments which equates to 2 - 4 weeks.  I am optimistic that it will help.  It can't hurt to try.

Yesterday, I also went to the dentist.  I can't remember the last time that I have been.  I know that is bad on my part espcially considering we have dental insurance.  But it seems like everytime I go, I have to get something done in addition to the cleaning.  I am happy to report that I didn't have any cavaties.  But unhappy to report that one of my fillings was cracked and had to be replaced.  However on a good note, Dr. Leary was able to fix it yesterday as well.

I am doing not so bad on trying to lose 10 pounds.  I haven't gotten on a scale so I don't know if I have lost any weight yet.  One positive side to my depression, is that I don't want to eat.  I know starving is not a healthy way to lose weight, but I just don't feel like forcing myself to eat.  I need to get on the weight loss plan that my Mom is using.  She has been diagnosed as prediabetic and told to lose weight.  Her doctor put her on a 1200 calorie a day regimen.  I need to increase my water intake and reduce my tea intake.

Our pool got another hole in it from rubbing against the bricks.  Scott doesn't know if he can patch it.  It was nice having a pool to cool off in, but with this second hole getting in it from the bricks on the back porch it may not be able to be repaired.  Hopefully he can patch it and we can get back to swimming.  Not only does it cool you off, it is also good exercise. 

I am on a roll this week....three blogs.  I just can't sleep and I don't care to just stare at the ceiling.  Why not be productive while I can't sleep.  I am just amazed at all the things that depression affects.  Sleep, appetite, energy, concentration, and focus.  Well on that note, I am going to close this entry. 

Twice in one week.....I'm on a roll

I'm on a roll.  Two posts in one week, I'm on a roll.  This weekend was nice as we went out of town.  We took the family to Atlanta, GA.  Scott had to work, so we tagged along.  While Scott was working the kids and I went to visit the old town where we lived.  Some parts had really changed, while other parts looked the same.  It was weird riding by our old house and seeing someone living there.  Christopher enjoyed it because we showed him where he was born.  It was a nice trip down memory lane.  The kids enjoyed it as well. 

We stayed at a nice hotel.  One positive was that the pool was open until Midnight.  We could enjoy nightly swims and with the exception of last night, we had the pool and whirlpool to ourselves.  Another perk was free breakfast.

Today we went to the World of Coke.  It was nice and informative.  We got to taste Coke products from around the world.  The drinks from Africa were yucky!  I do know that I prefer Coke.  I do have blisters on my feet from all the walking we did today and yesterday.  Yesterday, we went to North Point Mall.  Ashleigh got to go to the American Girl Doll store.  It was neat to see all the dolls from the catalogue up close.  Being in that store was like having the catalogue come to life.  I got 2 pairs of shoes from the Sketchers store and some Godiva chocolates.  Christopher got a Build A Bear; Alexander got a mini Auburn basketball;  Benjamin got a Giants Superbowl t-shirt; and Scott got a pair of Sketchers and an Auburn t-shirt.  Overall it was a fun trip.

I wish that I was in better shape.  Having all this extra weight slows me down.  It's something that I need to work on.  Maybe the kids and I will start taking walks.  They don't need to lose weight but the exercise will be good for all of us.  I have set a goal of losing 10 pounds.  That is not unrealistic and it is achieveable. 

My ECT consultation is 2 days away.  I am ready for that appointment.  I really think that ECT could help.  It can't hurt to try.  I just need to remember to write down my medicines and the names of the physicians treating me. 

Well I am going to close this post as I am tired from the trip.  My eyes are heavy and want to close, so I am going to quit fighting it.  And remember tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

Way too long! June 23, 2012

I know in my last post I said that I was going to keep up better with posting, but it didn't happen.  My depression is not good and the medicines are not working.  My psychiatrist has put me back on medicines that I have previously taken.  I am sad all the time and can not find the joy of things.  I feel like I am falling in a black hole.  I can see the top, but it's like I am freefalling.  I don't want to hit the bottom.  My psychiatrist is sending me for an ECT consultation.  From what I understand, it's like getting the reset button in your brain reset.  I am willing to try anything at this point.  I can't keep feeling like this.  It's starting to affect all my relationships.  I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.  I don't know which is worse, my depression or my bi-polar.  It's kind of a toss up at this point.  I hope that none of my kids get depression or bi-polar.  Unfortunately, it's genetic. I just hope that they all take after Scott in the emotions department. 

This weekend we are in Atlanta.  Scott has to help one of his branches move to a new location.  While he is helping that branch move, the kids and I are going to see the house and town where we used to live.  I wish that Scott would get transferred back here.  I am sure that once I see Loganville, I am going to long for it even more.  I must admit, it's nice to get away even if it's just for the weekend. 

This coming week is full of appointments.  On Tuesday, I have the ECT consultation.  On Wednesday, I have a dental checkup.  On Friday,  I have my bladder specialist appointment.  I may not want to do anything, but having appointments keeps me on the go.  It gives me something to look forward to.  If I had my way, I would just curl up in bed and sleep. 

I know that there are people in the world worse off than me, but I can't shake the sadness.  It's hard for the kids to see me cry and not be able to tell them why I am crying.  Or having a lot of anger and yelling at everyone.  You can only apologize so many times before the apology has no meaning.  My family has been understanding so far, but how long will it last?

Another depressing time is coming up.  July18th....a day that I wish I could forget.  July 18, 2012 will be the 11th anniversary of Savannah's passing.  It's so hard for me on that day.  If I could just go to sleep in June and wake up in August, I would be happy.  I just wonder what she would be like and who she would look like.  I still remember that day like it was yesterday.  I still blame myself because I didn't take care of myself and I took the pregnancy for granted. 

Wow this post is longer that I thought it would be.  Here's hoping for a good week.....at least bearable. 

Thursday, May 17,2012

I am trying to get better at posting more often.  My therapist says that I should keep a journal or online blog.  I have decided to keep the online blog as I can type faster than I write.  I don't know if I will keep up,  but I am trying to think positive.  I want to keep the negative, depressive thoughts out of my head.  Right now it feels like the depression is winning, but I am determined to show it whose boss.  I feel like I am in the black hole where I can see the light at the top of the hole, but I am free falling and can't feel the bottom.  I don't want to feel the bottom.  Hopefully, I will be able to stop the falling and pull myself out.  I have also decided to start riding my recumbent bicycle again.  I am going to try for 3 times a week, but I am going to start with a small goal of just 10 minutes.  The sweating and endorphines should also help to keep my depression at bay. 
On a very positive note, the dining room is completely unpacked, organized, and set up.  It only took me 3 months, but I did it.  Yea for me!  Baby steps instead of leaps and bounds.  Now just to get the rest of the house cleaned and organized.  I also need to get the laundry caught up. 
Saturday, Ashleigh and I will be having our Mother - Daughter Day.  I don't know what we are doing yet.  I have no idea and can't think of anything.  Hopefully she will have some ideas so we don't end up spending the whole day at home.
Well I am going to end the entry before my battery on my laptop dies.  And remember.....tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

Getting My Life Back in Order

     I can't believe that 4 months has passed since my last post.  What can I say, except that I have been slack.  I started this Blog to be my online journal, but haven't done a good job of keeping it up.  Hopefully with the help of an additional med, I will be better with journaling.  So much has happened since the last post.  We got another Oldsmobile Silhouette minivan.  Scott has parked the Suburban and not soon enough as the Head Gasket blew.  Next we moved to Gastonia.  Now we are close to the kids' school.  We are in between the elementary campus and secondary campus.  The house is nice and for the first time, each of the kids have their own bedroom.  I have been a slacker as the house isn't fully unpacked yet.  But that is going to change this weekend.  Yesterday, I was able to get my desk unpacked and organized.  Then last night, I was able to get my dresser and nightstand pier, unpacked and organized.  Slowly, but surely it is happening.  I will be so glad when the carboard boxes are totally gone.  I am tired of seeing boxes.  Earlier this week, I with the help of the kids were able to get the hutch unpacked and organized.  This weekend is to finish the house and get all the laundry done and caught up. 
     Back to getting my life in order.  I am set on getting back to the organized person that I used to be.  I don't know what happened to me, but I lost my way.  I am hoping that the LPC that I am going to see next Thursday can help me with my motivation and organization.  I am going to think positively that he can.  It can't hurt to go and see what he has to say.  My focus is not where it needs to be either.  I have drifted my thoughts many times writing this post, but I am able to re-focus and write some more. 
     Well my thoughts are all over the place now, so I am going to close this post.  And remember, tomorrow is a new day with endless possibilities!

It's Been Awhile

It's been awhile since my last post, so I figured it was time to blog.  Let's see....I got a new job as a Customer Service Agent in September, but had to  resign in January because my Mother-in-Law would no longer watch the kids.  That was a bummer because the extra money truly came in handy.  I also found out on January 13th, that I completely fractured the small bone in my leg, near my ankle.  So I am in a walking cast and will be for about 6 weeks.  Other than that, we have been spending our weekends cleaning and organizing the garage, getting rid of clothes that are too small, and getting rid of VHS tapes.  We have been making a lot of donations to Goodwill.  I have lost count of the number of 30 gallon bags that we have donated.  It's amazing how much junk you keep because it supposedly means something, but then after years it just doesn't hold that meaning anymore.  We are getting close to having our taxes done.  Hopefully the W2's don't take forever to get here.  I was able to print one off of the internet, now just to wait for Penske and Corestaff.  Last year Corestaff's W2 was the last to arrive.  We'll see if the same holds true this year.  The kids are doing good in school and this school year is already 1/2 over.  In a little less than 2 months, we will have two teenagers in the house.  Benjamin has the chance to take Driver's Ed, but I don't know how I feel about it.  I think because of his size, he isn't big enough to drive.  Ashleigh got new blue glasses and they look really good.  She has been wearing them since she got them, so hopefully it is a trend that will continue.  Christopher is reading on a 3rd grade level.  I am amazaed to sit and listen to him read.   He is doing good at getting green this year, but he still gets an occassional yellow.  He has a best friend named Shawn.  Guess what?  I also had to order glasses.  It appears that I had to get Bi-Focals because I am unable to see far and near.  I got the progressive bi-focal lenses, those are ones that don't show the line.  I also found out that I have an astigmatisim, which bascially means my eyes are shaped like footballs instead of basketballs.  I am mad because the expensive sheets that I bought, got 3 holes in them after being washed.  It really pissed me off because I almost paid $100 for them.  Now I have to return the sheets, wait for them to be received, and hope that they can send me another set.  You would think for the money, holes wouldn't have developed after 1 wash.  Oh well, back to the brown sheets.  Well I think that is all that is happening for now.  Tune back in because on Monday, I should have big news to share.  And don't forget, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities.

It's Been Awhile.....

It's been several months since I last posted.  Things got a little hectic with the end of school and the different activities associated with it.  We are half way through Summer break and I wonder where the time has gone?!  My parents have been a blessing this summer.  They have taken each of the kids for a week.  It's nice that they get time just to themselves.  It's hard giving one-on-one time when you have 4 children. 
The day that I dread most during the year and come and gone.  It's July 18th.  I find it hard to believe that Savannah has been gone for 10 years now!  I still wonder how she would look and what her personality would be like.  I wonder if she would be a Daddy's girl like Ashleigh.  I miss her sooo much.  I still have anger that she is not here.  I thought the anger would be less, which I guess it is a little bit, but the anger is still with me.
Well on that note, I am going to close this entry.  I need to remember that tomorrow is a new day with possibilities.

04/15/2011

This has been a long work week and it's not over yet.  Last Saturday has been my only day off in two weeks.  The extra money is nice, but I am worn out. 

Tomorrow is supposed to be full of bad storms.  They are suppose to hit when I am at work.  As long as it doesn't rain on my way to or home from work, I will be ok.

Well this is my shortest post, but my hands are just tired as I do data entry all day.  I am turning in for the night.  Hope it's a good night!  And remember, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

04/13/2011

It's hard to believe that it's 10:25pm already.  Where did the day go?  It seems like there isn't enough time to do anything after work or I am either too tired to do anything.

Ashleigh and I did have a "Mommy and Me" afternoon at Great Clips.  We tried going to Super Cuts, but there was only one lady working and two people ahead of us.  She said that it would be an hour or more wait....I don't think so.  We left and went to Great Clips.  It was a 20 minute wait which wasn't too bad.  Ashleigh got a bang trim and I got my hair cut.  It's shorter than it was, but not as short as I have had it in the past.  I like having long hair, it's just that my hair is so thick and heavy and I sweat all the time.  It's much cooler and lighter when it's short.  Scott likes me with long hair so he wasn't happy when I came home and my hair was shorter.  But I don't say anything when he gets his hair cut short, so he can't say anything when I cut mine. 

Scott had already made dinner when I got home.  He made spaghetti and meat sauce.  It was good, but I didn't feel like eating when I got home.  I did eat a little bit, but that's all I could eat.  While I got the kids fed, Scott worked on his Suburban.  He thought that he could get to the part that was broken.  The repair shop quoted us $425.75 for the part and $300.00 for labor.  Extra money that we just do not have.  Scott was able to find which part was broken and able to get the part at Advance Auto for $40.00.  He got the broken part out and installed the new part himself.  It's so great that he could do that.  He saved us $685.75!!!!! Yea!!!!! Just maybe we'll be able to save some of this money I am making at work.  Maybe even a little vacation.  That would be nice.

Well I need to go to bed.  6am gets here very fast and very early.  Since I am not a morning person, it takes me a little time to get going in the morning.  I need to find time to read Nanny Returns, the book I borrowed from the library.  I will probably have to renew it as I know I won't be done with it on the 19th when it's due.

I am off to bed.  And remember, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!!

04/12/2011

Well I haven't been doing a good job of keeping my blog current.  The thing is that I have been working on the computer all day that I just don't feel like getting on the computer when I get home.  I am not sure how long this peak is going to last, but the extra money will be nice.  Last week I had 5 hours of overtime which is really nice, in addition to getting 40 hours.

I am so ready for my violin to be fixed.  All the stuff to fixed it has been delivered, now I just need Ashleigh's string teacher to fix it.  I even bought a music stand and violin lesson book to get me back into the know how of playing the violin.  Hopefully it will be like riding a bike, once you learn you never forget.  I don't think it will be, but I am trying to think positive.

Well I know this is a short post, but I did make the effort to post.  I will try to post something each day, but I am not making guarantees that it will happen.  As always, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

04/08/2011

I know, I am bad.  I didn't post yesterday.  I was exhausted when I came home from work yesterday.  I made the kids dinner and then laid on the sectional.  The next thing I knew, Benjamin was waking me up at 11:25pm.  It was just too late to post.

It's nice because Scott is home from being gone on business all week.  I have only Saturday to enjoy as I have to work on Sunday.  I am not complaining, as the extra money is needed.  I have so much laundry and housework to catch up on that I probably won't get to enjoy any outdoor time.  I guess it's just sacrifices that we make. 

I really don't know what to write about today.  I am drawing a blank.  So on that note, I am going to close this entry.  Not much of an entry, but I did write.  As always, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

04/06/2011

Today wasn't bad.  Had to work.  Then had errands to run.  Now I am back at home.  I am tired....same story, different day.  I got Wendy's for dinner so the kids are happy.  Scott is out of town for the rest of the week on business.

I got a new wireless keyboard and mouse for my desktop computer.  They are connected by a USB receiver, which is nice not having to have the PS/2 port receiver sitting on my desk.  I was able to use one of the USB ports on the front of my desktop.  They seem to be working well. It's so nice not having to worry about wires or the mouse/keyboard being too far away from the PS/2 port receiver.  The keyboard also has 12 function keys which makes shortcuts easily accessed.

I am looking forward to getting my violin fixed.  It's going to take a little more work than I thought.  Ashleigh showed me some of her sheet music.  I remember some of the notes, but not a lot of them.  It's funny how your mind can remember so things, but other things you forget so easily.  I am sure once I start practicing and seeing the notes again, I will hopefully remember.  I know it's going to take practice, but practice is what I am willing to do.

My new filing cabinet has gotten messy on top.  I need to organize it, but I just don't have the motivation.  I had my desk area cleaned and then papers kept getting piled on it.  It's not as messy as my other desk, but it's not as neat as it was when we set my new desk up.  I will work on it this Saturday.  I can't do it Sunday because I have to work. 

Speaking of work, I have been working all week.  Which is nice because we need the extra money.  I am going to work as much as possible because another part on Scott's Suburban is broken.  It seems like when we fix one thing, something else breaks.  It's like we can't catch a break.  I really need to come into some money, but I don't foresee that happening anytime soon. 

I think the kids are going to have an early bedtime tonight because why......I am tired.  I am sick of saying that, but it's like someone pulled my plug and all my energy has run out.  I am even running slower at work than I usually do.  Which stinks because the faster I key, the more bonus money I can make. 

Well I have rambled enough for today.  I am turning in early tonight because we have to be up early tomorrow.  I have to have the kids ready to be picked up by their Granny at 7am.  Which means I am going to have to get up extra early to get myself ready and then get the kids up.  As always, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

04/05/2011

This is going to be a short, but sweet.  Last night's storm kept me up all night.  As soon as the storm hit we lost power which is surprising since all our utility wires are underground.  We had no power all night long.  I thought the wind was going to bust the windows and take the roof off the house.  But in the end, we were all right.  Except without the power, the house got really hot.

I did have to work this morning.  The agency sent me a text message at 6:30 in the morning.  So I was running around with a candle, trying to get ready in 30 minutes.  I was actually early to work.  I was just tired because I stayed up the night before on the computer and then fretting over the storm.  Needless to say, it doesn't help with the tiredness that I am battling.

I am going to fix my violin up and start practicing again.  I have missed it, but I know it's going to take work.  I haven't used my violin since my senior year of high school.  But Ashleigh is taking violin and we can practice together.  We will learn together.  Her strings teacher said that if I got the parts she would fix the bridge on my violin, put the new strings on and tune it.  It should be fun as I really enjoyed playing throughout Middle and High School.  Once we have a little more money, I'll buy a new case as mine has seen better days.

Well I have more to say but it's after 10:15pm and I need to take a quick bath and go to bed.  I need to catch up the sleep that I missed last night.  Maybe one day I will not be tired.  I long for that day!  As always, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

04/04/2011

Today was better than yesterday for energy.  I went to work, ran to the bank, paid the landlord, came home and helped Christopher with his homework.  In all my energy level was ok.  I still don't feel like I could run a marathon, but I feel more energetic than I did this past weekend.

I was mad because they didn't call me in for work tomorrow.  I don't understand, I help them out when they call me at last minute, but then don't get called at other times.  It's enough to make you want to pull your hair out.  I need all the hours that I can get.

I want to type as much as possible for this journal entry, but I feel like I am going to throw up.  I don't know what the deal is.  If I hadn't had a hysterectomy, I would swear I was pregnant.  But there is no chance of that whatsoever. 

On that thought, I am signing off before I puke all over this new laptop.  As always, tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

04/03/2011

Today was a tired day for me.  Even though I had a good night's sleep, I was tired today.  I was able to run the errand that I needed (get Alexander's art supplies for his art class), but other than that my energy level was non-existent.  I don't think my thyroid medicine is strong enough, but I guess we'll see when I get the lab results back later this week.

The kids, with the exception of Benjamin, spent the day at Uncle Tim's house.  It's nice that they get to spend time with their Uncle and Granny.

Hopefully I will be working all week this week as money is very tight. Because of my lack of energy, we were unable to get the garage organized.  Next weekend is supposed to be nice so we can try again then.

I want to write more, but I need to get to bed.  I have to work tomorrow so 5:30am will be very early.  I hope that this will be a better week.  Hopefully I will get another good night's sleep because I really need it.  As always tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

04/02/2011

Today the weather was beautiful.  The breeze was nice and the temp wasn't too hot.  Scott and the boys did yard work.  The yard looks nice.  The kids had a blast jumping on the trampoline that the neighbor gave us. 

Today was a tired day for me.  I don't know if my thyroid is low, but I just can't seem to shake being tired.  Every time I turned around, I was dozing on the sectional.  I am also down today. 

This is going to be a short post, as I just don't feel like journaling today.  But I made a promise to myself that I would try to write something every day.  I am keeping that promise to myself.  I may not write a lot, but I will write.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.  I know I have to go get Alexander's art supplies for his class so I will be up and about.  Maybe after a good night's sleep I will feel better tomorrow.  It would be nice to have a day where being tired isn't my main focus.  I am off to bed....yea!!  Have a great night! And like my post before have said......tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!

04/01/2011 - Night

Here is it 11:25pm and I am still wide awake.  That early bedtime eluded me again.  Maybe I am just meant to be a night owl.  I know I am definitely not a morning person.  At least we don't have to get up early tomorrow.  Scott is nice and usually lets me sleep in.  It is a greatly appreciated treat.

The neighbor next door gave the kids a trampoline.  They were having fun on it, bouncing all over the place.  If I wasn't so heavy I would get on it, but it's something I have to work on.  I have been doing good, not snacking all the time.  I know I should eat 6 small meals, but I am lucky if I have the appetite for 3.

Tonight after dinner, Benjamin and I ran some errands.  I went and got an AM/FM radio for work.  iPods or MP3 players are not allowed, but you can have a radio.  It's nice and compact, I am just not crazy about the color.  It is yellow and silver.  I know I didn't buy it for the appearance, I bought it so I could listen to music while I work.  Then we went and bought Scarlett some more food and a new toy.  Finally it was off to Wal-Mart to pick up my prescription and some batteries.  It only took us 1 hour and 15 minutes to complete.  Not bad if I do say so myself.

The weather is supposed to be nice this weekend.  Tomorrow is reserved for cleaning and organizing the garage.  We are getting ready for a garage sale.  It will be nice to get rid of the stuff that we don't need while making money at the same time.  I thought we would be able to use the money for a vacation, but we have to use it to pay for the repairs to Scott's Suburban.  Reliable transportation is more of a necessity than a vacation.  Oh well, maybe next year.

Our checking account balance looked really nice until I paid bills.  It would be so nice to live in a bill free world.  I know I am thinking of never-never land.  Time to come back to reality.  It would be really nice if bills didn't fall on the same due date.  But that is life and I just have to deal with it.

I do have happy news to report.  My student loan is finally paid in full.  Hooray!!  It's only taken me since 1993 to get it paid in full.  I must admit my parents helped me to pay it off.  If it wasn't for them, I would still be paying my little monthly payment for the next upteen years.

I am on a quest to find a new cordless mouse and keyboard for my desktop computer.  I had a Logitech, but the mouse doesn't work now.  I have been spoiled by being wireless.  Right now I am having to use a corded mouse and don't like it.  The cord just gets in the way.  I use my laptop more than my desktop, but I still want another wireless combo.  I need to look for a 2.4 GHz because the transponder is so small and the range is so much better than what I had.  Why is it that things stop working when you don't have the money to replace them.

This weekend I have to go buy Alexander supplies for his art class.  I wish all the teachers would give out their supply list over the summer so you could just get the supplies out of the way.  Yet again, another expense that wasn't expected.

I don't know which I have complained about more this week...lack of sleep, being tired, or money.  At least I am doing the positive thing and getting my thoughts out.  I don't need to keep things bottled up because they just end up eating at me and stressing me out.  Worrying and stressing do not help anything.  I wish I could get that into my head.  My life would be a little more relaxing if I did. 

Well it's almost 12am so I am going to bed.  I don't care if I lay and stare at the ceiling, I know I will eventually fall asleep.  Maybe tonight I will just give in and take a Lunesta.  Either way I will get some sleep.  Good night and sweet dreams! Tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities waiting to happen.

04/01/2011

I think the theme for this week is that I am tired.  My body still haven't recovered from missing a night of sleep.  To top it off, I had to be up at 4:45am this morning so that I could get to work on time.  I wanted to come home and take a nap, but had to be at the doctor's office at 4pm to get my thyroid levels checked.  I don't even want to talk about my weight, but I am working on it and that is the best I can do for now.  Why is it that you have to be on time for your appointment, but it takes the doctor 30 or more minutes to actually get in to see you.  Then in a flash, the appointment is over. 

This weekend is shaping up to be nice.  Not too hot, but definitely not too cold.  Too bad we will be spending tomorrow in the garage getting ready for our garage sale.  We were going to use the money to put towards a vacation, but we had to get Scott's Suburban repaired so that is where the money will be going.  Why is it that when you think you are going to have extra $$$ around, something comes along to take it away.  I guess it's along the lines of your checkbook balance looks good until you start paying bills.

Maybe I will get that long awaited nap this weekend.  I doubt it, but I can hope.  I can also wish for an early bedtime tonight, although I doubt that will happen also.  But it doesn't hurt to hope for it.

I am happy.  Because when I got home from work, my new Blackberry Torch Sync Pod came in the mail.  Now I have a stylish way to charge and also sync my Blackberry to the computer.  It's neat because there is a little light on back so you can find it in the dark.  It's the little things that amuse and impress me.

I am addicted to eBay.  It seems like you can find everything on there.  If you are willing to put forth a little time, you can generally find good deals on the stuff you are looking for.  I was able to find a good deal on my Vera Bradley stuff, my sync pod, and clothes.  Usually when I can't sleep (and if I'm not on Facebook or Twitter) you can find me browsing eBay.  It helps to fuel my passion which are butterflies.  I love butterflies.  I fell in love with them the day of Savannah's Memorial Service.  It's personal, but that's where the passion started.  My desk is full of butterflies - pencil/pen holder, tape dispenser, stapler, and letter opener. 

I am not finished, but the peanut gang is calling for my help.  I better go before they summons me.  I will write again soon as this entry wasn't finished.  My thoughts were still bouncing around, but a little more focused that yesterday.  Today was/is a good day.  I usually don't have many of those, but today was one.  On that thought, I will close this post.

03/31/2011

Although I got sleep last night, I am still tired.  I could crawl on the sectional and go right to sleep, but with 4 kids that isn't an option.  Today wasn't bad as I worked 1/2 a day.  The pay comes in handy especially since Scott only gets paid every other week.  My pay is weekly, so it is nice when I do have to work.  I want to write in my blog, but right now I am drawing a blank.

Tomorrow I have to work, but the kids are out of school.  So they get to spend the day with their Dad as he will work from home.  Before I knew I had to work, I had planned on taking them to the movies as a surprise (they don't know).  Maybe I will take them when I get home from work which will be about 2:45.

Scarlett is in the process of losing her baby teeth.  It seems like lately when we play tug-of-war with her, her teeth are coming out.  The kids are doing good at helping to take care of her.  It is teaching them all responsibility.  Her love is unconditional and makes you feel appreciated all the time.  Lately when she is in her crate, she will unzip her bed and get inside.  She climbs all the way in where the only way you know she is there is by her wagging tail moving the fabric of the bed.  It is quite funny and makes for a lot of laughs.

Now instead of drawing a blank, my thoughts are all over the place.  I think it's also because I am still sleep deprived from earlier in the week.  I wish that I had something prolific to say, but deep thoughts escape me today.  Which is probably a good thing, since my thoughts are jumping all over the place.  I need a spinner, so that I could spin it and stop on a topic.  Today just seems to be random thoughts in my head.

I went to the library on Monday and checked out a book to read.  Now that I want to read, I probably will have to work and not have a lot of free time.  Maybe I should try reading at night and it may help put me to sleep.  Anyway, it's The Nanny Returns - the sequel to The Nanny Diaries.  Sometimes sequels aren't as good as the original, but it is nice to catch up on the characters.  Hopefully it will keep my interest.  I have 3 weeks to read it before it's due, but then I have the option to renew it two more times.  I think I can get it read by then, but then again you never know.

Well I am signing off for now.  My thoughts are just all over the place and I am not very focused.  Hopefully I will be more focused tomorrow.  Have a great day!